After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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