okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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