I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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