I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
