i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I deserve this hangover.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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