My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
