he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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