no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
