so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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