Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize