At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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