I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
