I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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