dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
