Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I want to fling myself into the sun
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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