My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
