Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize