oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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