I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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