We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
