He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
