Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
