We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
