Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
