$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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