how hairy? two words: wookie tits
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
