They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
from now on my penis is your penis
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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