You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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