Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
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