Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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