You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
