He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Randomize
