I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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