I hate your face
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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