It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
