I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Dignity is for republicans.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
We need to get me chipped asap
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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