I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
