My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
