I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
