Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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