You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
