i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I love you. Go after that dick
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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