her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
