its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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