Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
