dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
