We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
