R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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