There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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