just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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