no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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