is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
