HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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