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I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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