it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
