We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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