I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize