I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
