So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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