That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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