I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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