So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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