i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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