i would punch a child for taco bell
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
