K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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