Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
This is my gift to your gina
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
