is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
